There's a lot of articles like this, but their solutions don't solve the issue for some reason.

I'm trying to load a background image (well, two images, basically) for reference, and they won't show up (in the 3D view). I set they perpendicularly (first I set one to the front and the right, then set them back and left. Neither way) and have it set to perspective mode. I even tried switching it to orthographic mode and cycling through the views to no avail.
 
here's the ortho view and persp view:

http://postimg.org/image/uotmxqijp/

http://postimg.org/image/f80ddjq6b/

I just downloaded Blender a few days ago; I have zero experience. Dumbing down answers to noob-speak would be appreciated.

If you need any more information on the problem, just ask.