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I've got a pretty simple object I'm trying to unwrap, hardly more than a sphere with some shapes cut out, yet the UV map I'm getting is, well, I'm frankly not even sure what to call that.

enter image description here

I've tried everything I could think of - applied scale, double, triple and quadruple checked both my normals and my seams, removed doubles and deleted loose elements - none of that has helped so far. Changing the method to conformal does nothing as well.

I've also got another similar element in the same scene and that one unwrapped exactly how I wanted it to. enter image description here

Does anybody have any idea what's going on here? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

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