I'm trying to use dynamic hair for an animation, but every time I turn it on, the hair warps, then "explodes" when the mesh is moved. It doesn't get any better when I try to bake the dynamics into the system. I'm completely at a loss as to what could be the cause. Any and all help will be much appreciated. I've attached the .blend file, in case anyone wanted to tinker with it.
Edit: I've updated the blend file to better showcase the problem, as I've removed the armature entirely, and the problem is still there.