I don't quite get what's going on. I tried everything: applied rotation, scale, tried re-making the geometry, and nothing works. Could it be that a slight misplacement of a vertex causes such a dramatic change in bevel? It makes no sense. This was created from being mirrored, but it won't apply right. I tried all modes, which I will show below. There is only one that works, but since it doesn't apply it evenly to the bottom portion, I cannot use it as it destroys the top. I need this in order to get the profiling right (otherwise it shows an ugly, impartial application which I demonstrate below as well).
Here are the different types of modes of bevel that I tried (note that they're exaggerated to show how they are unevenly applied).
Offset (note the twisting of one side and another side's disproportionate look):
Width (it looks OK, but it's not when the bevel is applied in excess because it shows that not everything is scaling in the same amount):
Depth (really weird--should not be such a dramatic difference!):
Percent (this is the only one that works relatively better, but it applies most heavily at top, whereas I need it to be applied to the bottom evenly, too):
Here's the reason for why I need the bevel:
Here's what happens when bevel is applied: Any advice is greatly appreciated!